[for Natasha]

[manwithoutfear]

I keep an ear to the ground, though my hearing isn't what it used to be. Rumors spread like wildfire wherever there are voices to speak them and people to listen, and Tabula Rasa is no different. For the most part, the information is both trivial and of little interest to me, but then there are the times where I hear the whisper of the word Rapture, and I go running towards it like the moth to the flame.

I would know the path to Natasha's place in my sleep, but I keep up appearances for eyes other than mine, making use of the cane even after all this time though the terrain renders it impractical. I've been the subject of too many rumors myself to not know any better. (I haven't been as careful as I could be, even here. Call it living up to a name I'd rather most here never hear.)

Heading up to her door, I do her a favor that few in our community possess the courtesy to perform.

I knock and wait for her to answer.

Comments

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

Though she left it just yesterday, it feels as though it's the first of her hut she's seen in days. Natalia's returned to it only to shower and change, and now, standing with wet hair in her tiny kitchen, she finds herself uncertain how next to proceed.

It's uncomfortable, this lost feeling all the more unsettling for its rarity, and it takes her longer than it should to place the muted tap on the path outside as Matt's cane. It's not until she opens the door to the sight of him standing there, as strong and tall as always, that Natalia recognizes the weakness blooming in her limbs as relief.

"Matt," she says, wondering despite the warmth she feels at the sight of him if she has time for this. It's foolish, perhaps, to assume that the men in the next hut can't look after themselves for another hour. James can, if not Jason, but it feels too much like home, too much like chasing after James and seeking, against all odds, to keep him whole through each crisis and the next. "I...come in."

[manwithoutfear]

"How bad is it?"

I don't give voice to the question until I'm already inside. My hand finds her elbow, and though she is ostensibly meant to guide me, I pull her along instead. Her exhaustion is palpable, the pause in her reply as damning as a confession. Something's gone wrong and she was probably in the thick of it. She can take care of herself, but I do wonder if she hasn't been too distracted with those around her to bother.

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

Natalia sighs, not so worn down that she can't feel some amusement for the fact that she's being led to her own table. Sinking into the chair, she waits for him to take the one opposite, then reaches for his hands.

"Nothing so bad it can't be fixed with time," she says, not meaning to be vague, but there's so much. With what new tale of borrowed hardship should she begin? The timeloop of several days ago weighs most heavily on her mind, but Steve would prefer his own ordeal remain private, and James undoubtedly so. Natalia sighs. "Do you know of a Batman?"

[manwithoutfear]

"Do I know of a Batman?"

The question is delivered dry as a desert and I can feel my brows pull up above the rims of my glasses. I've been a bookworm for as long as I can remember, but I never read many comics as a kid. I don't make much of an effort to go to the theater, either. Still, there are some names you just know...

If only in fiction.

"The guy from the movies? With the--" I finish the last word in a low growl. "--voice?"

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

Natalia's eyes narrow. "He did speak like this, yes," she confirms. She's heard the younger set on the island mention Batman before, never around Jason, but always in such a way that suggest he's some kind of universally recognized figure. Formidable, but spoken of with a glee that marks him more myth than reality. Natalia has had very little time in her life for fiction, but it appears that is no longer true.

"What do you know about him?"

[manwithoutfear]

There are only so many reasons she can be asking, and I land upon what I assume is the most likely after only a moment's pause.

"He's here?"

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

Natalia suppresses a sigh. She will grudgingly admit that the man she encountered below had made an impression, but to elicit this response even from Matt...

"He is," she says, suddenly weary. "The young man that lives with James, Jason Todd. He's his adoptive father." She purses her lips around the understatement. "They don't get on."

[manwithoutfear]

I can feel some of the amusement fade from my features, though it doesn't disappear entirely. The corners of my mouth are still just the slightest bit upturned, a wry disbelief etched into my expression. The tension in her hands, though, is enough to keep me from laughing outright.

"Is it true what they're saying, about Rapture?"

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

"That it was closed to all but the ITF? Yes, it's true." The sigh makes it all the way out of her mouth this time. So many dangerous theatrics, and on the heels of that awful timeloop...

"Jason chose to hide in Rapture rather than surface with his father. James closed Rapture to find him and posted a guard, but this Batman got past him." Pulling her hands away, Natalia rubs hard at the ache in her forehead. "Matt, he bested Wolverine."

[manwithoutfear]

"Who hasn't?"

I could be taking this more seriously, but I am concerned. Not necessarily about Batman walking the shores of Tabula Rasa, but that Natasha's wrapped up in the life of someone who's managed to keep so busy despite the circumstances. Don't misunderstand, I've enjoyed the peace and quiet that's come with my arrival here, and yet, I wish the others would realize that I am not helpless. That I keep my skills sharp. I've rarely been one for teams, and the ITF hardly plays to my strengths, but I remain useful.

"The man's good, but hardly unbeatable. And while Batman is apparently not be winning Father of the Year anytime soon..." I shrug. Admittedly, I didn't know he had kids, adoptive or otherwise. Just sidekicks.

"He's a superhero, Natasha, not a supervillain. It sounds like every other time two heroes come across each other. They fight even though they're on the same side. It's practically how we say hello."

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

"It is a tired introduction," Natalia snaps, rising from the table so swiftly that, were she anything but superlatively graceful, the chair would surely be on its back. One man after the other, throwing themselves upon danger should they feel its lack even for a moment, or seating themselves at her table to joke about it.

"May we not even have two moments strung together in this place?" It feels like more a test of their sanity than ever of late, loops and deaths and unhappy reunions back to back. "That boy was happy here, and for the first time in his life, if I understand correctly. James is - " She stops herself, staring flint eyed at her tiny cabinet, and reaches for the vodka they'd not quite finished.

"What do you know about him?" she asks again.

[manwithoutfear]

"Not much," I admit with a frown, tracking her progress through the hut, though I don't yet make to follow. Not yet.

"He has a sidekick named Robin. They might've fallen out of vogue in the real world after... Well, after Bucky, but, you know... It's fiction. Imagine..." I pause, trying to think of the best way to describe someone I'd never even considered real until a few minutes ago. It's harder than I anticipated, if only because the answer is closer to home than I might necessarily like. I pull a face.

"Honestly? A cross between me and Iron Man. His gadgets, my... Everything else."

It's far from a perfect comparison, but it paints an idea, if nothing else.

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

The picture painted is one that terrifies. All of Tony's toys, driven by a man like Matt, that stubbornness, that determination and rage...Natalia puts away the vodka. A patrol then, before she, too, rests.

"Known weaknesses?" she asks, turning around.

[manwithoutfear]

She stops. I can guess why, but I leave the thought unvoiced, instead standing up to reach her side. The tension's coming off her in waves, her silence just as telling as her movement.

"He's just a man."

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

Natalia holds her breath, waiting out the sudden urge to just lean into him, let him take her weight for a moment. "It only takes a man," she answers. "One man, or one trick of this island. All we can do is be prepared."

[manwithoutfear]

"When's the last time you rested?" I ask, lifting a hand to cup her cheek. Her skin's cool under my palm, and a few wet strands of hair cling to the back of my hand as I slide my fingers over her scalp.

"Natasha, please."

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

"This morning." It's true and a cheat all at once. She'd rested, lain down with James but she hadn't slept, has not, in fact, felt enough quiet in her soul to sleep in days, and while it's wearing on her, Natalia knows she could do more.

"I don't need to be put to bed, Matt," she says, curling her hand over his own. "I know what I'm doing." And where she's needed, and god, let it be in only one place this time.

[manwithoutfear]

"I know you do," I say, leaning forward to drop a kiss into her hair, taking in the soft scent of shampoo with a deep inhale before I draw back. A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, but the line deepening between my brows speaks to a greater uncertainty than I would have her believe.

"But you can't take care of everyone else if you're not on top of your own game."

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

Natalia allows herself to be handled, not only for their long history, but also for her lingering suspicion that Matt needs to care for people in the way that other men need to be cared for. And it does not, as Jason would say, suck to have someone look after her.

"Someone must find out where he's living," she says. "Are you volunteering for recon?"

[manwithoutfear]

"While the invitation is flattering..." I say, disbelief tugging at my features. I know she doesn't mean to mock me, but my observational skills just aren't what they used to be. Without my heightened senses, I can't track worth a damn -- not unless I was already hot on their trail. At least then, I could follow the sound.

"I'd have to go through official channels."

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Natalia says, nodding absently. Matt will be the first to say he is not helpless, and while he may not prowl as he used to, Natalia will always believe his charm to be among his greatest resources. If anyone could get answers...

She looks at the wall, staring in the direction of James and Jason's hut. James doesn't need any extra guard on the hut, nor would he welcome it, no matter how it might help her to rest easier. "I don't know what else to ask, Matt."

[manwithoutfear]

"Then let me do the asking," I say, using the length of her arm to find hold of her hand with mine.

"Take a break. Rest. For real, this time. I'll find out where he's living."

And maybe have a word or five with James.

[widowskiss.livejournal.com]

At times Natalia wonders if Matt does not receive as much comfort as he means to give, but it does not matter. Despite her lingering desires to follow Batman, the comfort is welcome.

"Every man in my life is this stubborn," she says, but her voice is fond when she reaches, pressing her palm to his cheek. "It is a curse."

[manwithoutfear]

"Or a blessing," I offer, wryness slipping into my tone. She's no less stubborn herself, but I have the sense not to tell her that; it's not like she doesn't already know.