[Age Switch] For Ellen

[manwithoutfear]

Ever since learning Ellen was carrying our child, I've spent more nights at her place than my own, despite my admitted annoyance towards her dog. Some might call this hovering or being overtly concerned, but most don't live subject to the whims of a magical island. Sleeping by her side gives me a false peace of mind, and given that rest will be in short supply once the baby comes, getting as much of it as I can in the meantime strikes me only as forward thinking.

A light sleeper by nature, something as simple as a shift in her weight is enough to ease me awake. I noise a grunt in the back of my throat as my eyes flutter open, still close enough to dreaming that I don't notice anything's off.

"Ellen?"

Comments

[shewaswarned]

It's not that she's been sleeping completely poorly, but now that they're at the halfway mark Ellen is starting to feel a little - well, bigger. It's easier to adjust her sleeping patterns now, to prop a pillow under her back to take some of the weight of - but every now and then, she wakes up when the baby moves, and once it had even been when the baby got a case of the hiccups inside her - which was an odd feeling to say the least.

Right now, she's sleeping with something the size of a football in her belly, one hand absently resting on the bump that rises and falls with her breathing.

She stirs, but doesn't open her eyes right away.

"Yeah?"

[manwithoutfear]

I can see in dreams. Like I used to, as a boy -- with colors and dimension. It takes me another sleepy moment to realize I'm no longer sleeping. That the image before me is real and not the byproduct of an overactive imagination.

Then I'm wide awake. My heart pounds in my chest and I rub the last vestiges of sleep from my eyes, turning an excited gaze to my hands. Young and free of callouses, just as I expected: the Island's pulled this trick once before, but the circumstances now couldn't be any more different than the last time.

"Ellen, honey, I need you to wake up and not panic," I say, trying to make my voice sound closer to normal. My voice has already dropped, at least, but I don't exactly sound like my usual self.

[shewaswarned]

"Hmm?"

She eases over slowly, frowning behind closed eyes as she attempts to navigate the movement. It's only going to get more difficult once the baby is closer to the size of a watermelon, but she's not one to complain. And then her eyes slowly flutter open - and go wide.

"Oh, my God."

[manwithoutfear]

It's the first time I've ever seen Ellen. My throat goes tight and I blink a few times to clear my rapidly blurring vision. I feel something hot and wet slide down my cheek, and I swipe it away, dropping my hand down to dry my fingers on the sheets. I've always thought her to be beautiful, but I never expected to have such confirmation. Dark hair, dark eyes… Her skin seems to glow even in the dull, dawn light. I stop myself from reaching out to the swell of her belly, all at once wondering what our child might look like…

And knowing that I'll likely never see it.

"It's me, I swear," I tell her. "Just-- Younger."

[shewaswarned]

"You're definitely younger," she murmurs, and leans in closer to study his features - there's hints in there, she thinks, of the man he'll grow up to become eventually. The more she looks at him, though, the more she recognizes that there's something majorly different about him - namely, eye contact. She's never actually looked into his eyes and seen him looking back - even though she knows that he's likely mapped out the planes of her face by touch numerous times already.

"You can see me," Ellen breathes, and there's a little exhilaration in it in spite of all the weirdness - because even though he's effectively a teenager, it's still Matt in there, with all his experience and knowledge, knowledge of her - and it's why her hand moves to cover his, squeezing warmly.

[manwithoutfear]

I try to respond, only to find my throat's gone tight all over again. I settle for a quick nod, turning my hand over under hers to squeeze back, hesitant to look away from her face. God only knows how much time we have before I revert back to normal, and while I can't say I'm eager to return to my adolescent years, being able to have a moment like this...

It's worth it.

With my free hand, I reach to cup her cheek, my thumb tracing a familiar line over her cheekbone and down the line of her nose. My face breaks into a wide smile, senses working together to create a new memory.

[shewaswarned]

She grins, then laughs, a small and quiet sound - and the baby, as if sensing a shift in her mood as well as her waking state, moves around in response, pushing out with either a small fist or a foot against her stomach.

"Okay, I'll never get over how that feels," she says, her free hand ghosting down to rest against that spot, waiting for another flutter.

[manwithoutfear]

"The baby's kicking?" I ask, finally finding my voice. The first time I felt it had been a mix of emotions -- trepidation and excitement -- but now I'm simply glad for another new thing to see. I glance down, and press my hand over hers, not sure what to expect.

[shewaswarned]

"The baby is - either kicking or punching, I'm not sure," Ellen admits, moving her hand out of the way in order for him to feel it for himself.

It's still weird, her having this conversation with him looking like that, but - not as weird as she might have led herself to imagine. "It's like it knows when I wake up, since that means breakfast is coming."

[manwithoutfear]

"Did you want breakfast?" I look between the gaps in my fingers, momentarily fascinated by the contrast in our skin tone. I like to think I get outside often, but you'd never tell by looking at me. I'm pale as can be.

[shewaswarned]

Ellen shrugs both shoulders, but there's a smile slowly growing on her lips.

"I could eat," she murmurs, which is actually secret pregnant lady code for yes.

[manwithoutfear]

I match her smile, instinctively going in for a stealthy kiss before I remember myself: I'm a bookish looking teenager and she's my pregnant fiancée. These are not exactly things that go together, though the sudden rush of hormones is making that harder to keep in mind. The flush starts at my ears and burns hot down the back of my neck. I all but leap out of the bed, grabbing the first thing I can to press over my lap as I put some distance between us.

"I'll go get things started!"

[shewaswarned]

He's leaning in slowly, his hand still resting on her belly, and she gives him an expectant look in return before he shoots backward, practically launching himself off the bed. It's such an uncharacteristic display of haste that she starts grinning, swinging her legs over and standing up, both arms winding above her head in a lazy stretch.

"I'll be there in a minute. I'm going to let Zeus out."

[manwithoutfear]

"Do you have to?"

It comes out as almost whiny, and I can't help but cringe. But maybe that's a good thing. Anything to keep my mind off the problem in my pajamas, because God only knows that won't get any addressing until everything is back to normal.

[shewaswarned]

She gives him a strange look.

"Unless you want him to have an accident, then yes," she replies, stepping past him on her way into the other room. Zeus gets the living room whenever Matt's staying over, which is happening more and more these days. He's eager to get outside and sprints out when she opens the front door, waiting out on the porch.

[manwithoutfear]

I huff an annoyed breath in reply.

The pitter patter of doggy feet scratching the hell out of the floor is somehow easier to bear when I don't have only sound to go by, but that still doesn't make me the dog's biggest fan. Regardless, it's another distraction to focus on while I pull out the available food, finding my way to the pantry more by memory than sight, though I'm careful to take a look around. I'd forgotten what mangos looked like, surprised by the pinks and yellows and greens of its flesh as I grab a knife to start slicing.

[shewaswarned]

Zeus is a bigger dog now, but still technically a puppy, which makes it a lot of fun when he tries to barrel into her, but somehow he senses now that he needs to tread lightly around her, as if he can scent the difference. If anything, he's more protective of her, although he and Matt have a tenuous alliance.

She lets him back inside afterward, moving to the kitchen to feed him, where he digs into his food with happy crunching noises. One hand idly resting on her belly, she sidles over quietly. "Need any help?"

[manwithoutfear]

"I'm good," I all but squeak, wanting to avoid any more awkwardness before she gets too close. Even then, I can't help but take her in, turning to watch her face. "You sit down, I've got everything covered here."

[shewaswarned]

"Okay."

She gives him a small, studying look and then moves to the kitchen table in the neighboring room, settling herself into a chair. Her stomach is the perfect size for her to casually rest her hand on it, so she leaves it there, her other hand drifting down to pet Zeus when he comes over to lay down after finishing the food in his bowl.

[manwithoutfear]

Breakfast isn't anything special, though it takes longer than normal to make. I'm not used to operating by eyesight anymore, and I get distracted every few moments by something else I've never seen. The last time the island turned back the clock, I wasn't yet involved with Ellen, so it's the first I've ever seen of the place.

I walk into the kitchen with the tip of my thumb pressed against my mouth, tonguing at a knick I made accidentally when I was slicing the fruits.

"Got any bandaids?"

[shewaswarned]

"Probably. Did you cut yourself?"

Ellen frowns visibly and gets to her feet, moving into the kitchen and towards the cupboard where she keeps the majority of her first-aid supplies. The bandaids are the first thing she sees, and she grabs the box of them to bring them back to the table, reaching out to take his hand.

"Let me see."

[manwithoutfear]

"You'd think being able to see would make things easier, right?" I'm reluctant to give her my hand -- it's just a cut, I can take it care of it on my own -- but I don't want a fight, so I hold it out for her. If nothing else, it gives me an excuse to look at her some more, filling in the line work of my memories with color and texture.

"Guess it comes with an adjustment period."

[shewaswarned]

"It's definitely an adjustment period," Ellen murmurs understandingly, cleaning off the cut first before putting a fresh bandaid around his thumb, gently holding onto his hand for a few more beats once she's done.

"There." She smiles up at him. "Okay?"

[manwithoutfear]

I reach out to cup her face with my uninjured hand, tracing the curve of her bottom lip with my thumb -- completing the picture in my head.

"Yeah," I exhale, finding a smile of my own. She's more beautiful than any sunrise, and I know if I stay here for any longer, things'll get awkward real fast, but… I don't care.

[shewaswarned]

It might be an unconscious act, but she tilts her head into his touch, reaching up with one hand to gently snake fingers around his wrist, the bones feeling smaller under her hands. More delicate.

"Good," she murmurs, smiling slowly.

[manwithoutfear]

Again, the urge to kiss her catches me off guard. My head bows down, instinct taking me through familiar motions…

I jerk back at the last moment, my mouth pressed together in a thin smile as my face grows hot.

"Maybe I should, uh--"

[shewaswarned]

"Eat your fruit?" Ellen weakly finishes, clearing her throat quietly as she shifts, turning to face the first-aid kit instead of him directly.

She'll just busy herself with putting it away first before taking a seat at the table, though she's attempting to stifle a smile as she does so.

She fully intends to blame the hormones.

[manwithoutfear]

"I am a growing boy," I mutter under my breath, turning on my heel to sit opposite her at the table. I stab at a piece of mango with my fork, examining it with all my available senses before I sink my teeth down.

I take a minute to chew -- I always enjoy my food -- and glance back over at her.

"...so I guess I'll be sleeping on the couch 'til I get back to normal, huh?"

[shewaswarned]

"Why would you - oh."

She hadn't even considered the possibility that there'd be an issue with - keeping hands to one's self.

[manwithoutfear]

I clear my throat. God, this is awkward.

"Unless you don't mind sleeping next to jailbait...?"

I can't help the slight hopeful note in my voice. I blush that much more.

[shewaswarned]

"What, are you worried I'll try something?"

She's fully confident in her ability to stay hands-off until this is back to normal.

[manwithoutfear]

I gape at her for a full minute before I force myself to shut my mouth and keep eating.

"Shut up."

Not my most eloquent reply.

[shewaswarned]

She practically snorts back a laugh, some of the earlier tension easing away, and returns to eating silently.

For a lawyer, someone needs practice on coming to his own defense.